single and chasing pavements

I came back from my peanut paying job yesterday highly fatigued and tired after greeting my mum the first thing she said was your cousin F came by today to tell us that she is getting married then,she gave me this where is your own husband look.I woke up by 12 am this morning because I heard someone cryin, that piqued my curiosity. Lo and behold, it was none else than mum praying earnestly  and beseeching God to give her only daughter a husband.Seeing her like that really got to me.

      So for my lunch break today, I decided to go to the poshest and most expensive restaurant in town to haunt for a husband. The only money I had on me was the 1K I had been carrying on me all week, I decided that spending it on food that tasted like dirty socks was a good investment(I pride myself in making good investments) as long as I could snag myself a good catch preferably a tall chocolate skinned dude, with well groomed facial hair,  wash board abbs, good teeth, and  diction.
 
       I took a bike to **** restaurant, I got myself a good seat in the executive lounge(that's where bankers and big boys eat), ordered grilled fish for #700(thats the only thing I could afford on the menu)and a bottle of diet coke for #150. As I nibbled the fish, I would occasionally check out the other patrons. All the men there were either heavily obessed with gigantic pot bellies to boot and the ones who looked cute either wore wedding bands or came along with female dates.

      After forcing the awful fish down my throat and fiddling with my phone for an hour it dawned on me that I wasn't going to be meeting Mr right today. So, fuming internally I paid for the bland tasting fish. To make matters worse after paying for the food I asked the waiter for my #150 change and then he gave me this smug look when he said "Madam that one na service charge".The poor exploitative fool doesn't want to know all the expletives I used to describe him in my mind. I just picked my bag and walked out of the damn place.

So, I just spent 1K for nothing and I am still single and chasing pavements.

How do you get a husband?

     They tell you to get a husband, they tell you to find a husband, they tell you to bring a man home. What they don't tell you is where to or how to find a husband. Do you find a husband in the market when you go to buy atarodo?  or, do you find a husband when you go to church may be that's why there are so many single women in the choir and ushering unit, do you find a husband when you go to weddings may be perhaps that's why asoebi girls are so popular, or do you find a husband when you go to the mall? may be thats why Spar and Shoprite are so popular.My friend J likes to stroll every evening she says she is looking for a husband, she says you wont find a husband if you just sit at home, she says men are scarce.
          Why must i look for a husband? i asked my mum once she looked at me like i had grown two horns on my head.

please how do you find a husband?