Yoruba Demon

          A Yoruba Demon is any guy of Yoruba descent who is a serial heart breaker. Like every girl who has even been with a Yoruba demon, I have my share of experiences. My first experience with a Yoruba demon was when I was 7 and so was he, apparently there is no age limit to the prerequisites that come with the Job description.  Deji was class captain and I was the shy newbie and like all Yoruba Demons worldwide he was exceptionally charming and really cute. Deji was my knight in shining armor and my personal voltron. He warded off my bullies, he shared his choco biscuit, jenka gum and saccharine laced juice with me during lunch. He became my best friend. well besties I taught we were until the day he took me behind the block of primary 2 classes and Pouting his chubby lips, asked me if I liked him. I replied in the affirmative he then told me to prove it by kissing him. I ran away as fast as my skinny legs could carry me that was my very first experience with a Yoruba Demon.

             My next experience was with Jide I had meet him on my way to the school cafeteria during one of the visiting days in my all girls boarding school, he had been looking for directions to marigold house. Jide had this smile that could melt a thousand glaciers, beautiful dark ebony skin and I was smitten I decided to forgo the days lunch of jollof rice and fish and rather walk him down to his destination. Like all typical girl meets boy, girl likes boy stories Jide became my favorite person I looked forward to his “from my fountain of love,I pick this  golden pen to write you this letter”  notes, his cards and other cheap sentimental knick knacks he sent my way. I thought our love story was one written in the stars by Venus herself I mean who just randomly bumps into the love of their live on their way to the cafeteria? I came down from seventh heaven the day I heard Nneka and Tochi talking about same ol’ Jide and how he even got them lavish gifts like perfumes, teddies and rose flowers. My 13 year old heart was crushed apparently I wasn’t the only mosquitoe in his net as he liked to call me. There were many of us, three others besides Nneka and Tochi as I would later get to know.

         Tosin was the next Yoruba Demon that would come into my life, Tosin fine Tosin with with his well groomed facial hair, glistening caramel skin, wash board abbs…  Tosin was your typical eye candy. What you would also get to know about Tosin when you struck a conversation with him was that he was an intellectual and like all sapiosexuals, I was charmed. The first day I met him, we had talked about our take on life and the world in general for hours on end. We shared the same outlook on a lot of issues and he was polite about proclivities of mine that he didn’t quite agree with. I and tosin became Boo and Bae two weeks after our first meeting. This time around and at 21 I felt that I was older and wiser and could distinguish between toxic and healthy plus I knew within my soul that he was the one! I was happy, was in Love, I thought we where basking in the euphoria of the kind of romance spanish soap operas are made of until the day the bubble busted. He had gotten a message from customer care earlier about a refund policy of some sort so I thought it strange when I saw customer care on caller ID, I decided to pick the call. From that call and from extensively snooping his list of contacts I later get to know that he had a bevy of baby mamas and apparently I had only been a side chick.

          Adekunle wasn't exactly easy on the eyes with his short and pudgy physique,I thought that if they  if werent good looking they could at least be faithful. I had meet him in church, I joined the hospitality unit of my church and that was where we met. The first time we met he told me that I was his Iyawo and that it was God ordained, he said that he had been believing God for a wife and that the moment he saw me he knew that God had answered his prayers. Adekunle went as far as a proposal with a lovely engagement ring to booth, all his friends(fellow demons) addressed me as our wife. I thought finally! here is one yoruba man that will prove the rest of them wrong but alas! like all yoruba men world wide it is in their genome to be unfaithful, break your heart, hit the high road and leave you high and dry.